I should have kissed you like we diserved
by SlashPrincess15
Summary: A one-shot about emotional betrayal, angst, annoying feelings that making everything so much worse, and one mistaken kiss.


**CROSS POSTING FROM AO3. IF YOU WANT ALL MY PARKSBORN WRITING PLEASE GO TO AO3 USERNAME: RAHSAX OR SLASHPRINCESS15**

**So I saw the new Amazing Spiderman movie. Hadn't seen the first one (my friend wanted to go see a movie and it was the only decent movie I hadn't already seen out), and became obsessed with the Harry/Peter ship, especially how their relationship played out in the movie. So I wrote a fic that is compliant with the movie about how their feelings developed and played out (of course with slightly more gay then the movie included). This is the result. **

**Pairings: Harry/Peter, Peter/Gwen **

**As I had to rely on shitty video camera recorded version of the movie for reminder of the lines there are a few parts where it skipped parts of the movie but there is nothing I can do about it so I just sort of winged it in those bits… apologies if I completely fucked them up. **

**Warnings: If you've seen the movie and know how it ends you know the brute of them; also one kiss between two guys and a whole lot of angst **

**MAJOR WARNING: Spoilers for the movie. Like legit, most of this I'm quoting word for word their dialogue from the movie, DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE. I don't care how much you can deal with spoilers; I do not want you having deja-vu throughout the whole thing because of my fic okay. **

His father was dead.

His father was dead and he was now the head of the company, forced to return to the city he had tried so hard to forget.

He was now stuck in a meeting, hearing about how the company was trying to fix its reputation after the… mishaps that had happened.

He heard about them, there probably wasn't a person in the world who hadn't, Oscorp's wonderful fuck up with genetic testing. A part of him wishes the company had failed, at least then he wouldn't be forced back into this city.

He couldn't stand the men in the room, their arrogance. So he gave command to the one person there who seemed to actually trying to do her job instead telling him how to do his.

When he was told about his visitor he was torn. On one hand it would be good to see what his childhood friend had grown up to be, on the other it would just be another thing he tried so desperately to forget shoved into his face.

But still, he wouldn't turn Peter away; Harry couldn't ever bring himself to do that.

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Peter shuffled nervously around the entrance, he didn't belong in a building like this – never did. He wasn't even sure Harry would accept to see him, part of him waiting for security to return and ask him to leave, he didn't belong here even when he and Harry were close.

But after he had heard the news he couldn't – he wouldn't leave Harry to mourn on his own. Not after what the boy had done for him after his own parents had died.

"Peter Parker-" his voice was different from the one he remembered, and so was the body the came with it. Harry looked grown up, looked mature and confident in a way Peter would never be able to match when not in the suit (and even then he probably wouldn't come close to the maturity the other presented).

"- it's like seeing a ghost," seeing Harry again wasn't like seeing a ghost, he had been seeing a ghost every time he talked to Gwen. Seeing Harry wasn't like that at all, but at the same point he understood what the other boy meant. An echo of a past shared that had long been lost to the fragility of memory, in that way it was.

"Hey Harry," Peter replied, becoming more comfortable in the building now he had his friend in front of him, he knew he could still be sent away, but at the same time at least he got to see his childhood friend in the flesh one more time.

"It's been like 10 years?"

"8 actually, but close," Peter replied, moving away from the doorway slightly more sure that he wouldn't be sent away.

"What's up?"

"Saw the news man, I heard about your dad," there was no point lying, what other reason could he be here? He just heard his childhood friend was back in town that he hadn't talked to in years and he just decided to come visit? Harry wouldn't believe that.

"And I just wanted to come and see - to check in – to see how you were doing," Peter continued, making his way up the staircase that had separated the two previously.

"I'm with some people… I'm in a meeting," so the rejection did come. Harry likely couldn't bring himself to turn his old friend away even though he didn't actually want to see him.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to intrude." Peter didn't, really, but at the same time he wanted to see his best friend again, wanted to spend time together with him like they did all those years ago.

"I know it's been a long time, but I kind of know exactly what you're going through, and you were so there for me when my parents- " he left it unsaid; the word too painful for either of them to hear at this moment.

"…That's why… I'm here for you."

"Thank you," it doesn't sound entirely sincere, but at the time point it doesn't sound cold. Peter has already made his way down the staircase ready to leave; he knows when he's not wanted anymore.

"It's good to see you man… good to see you… sorry about your dad," he goes to leave, head bowed. He shouldn't have come, all he feels about their relationship is a serious of wounds he never noticed until now, hurts and heartbreaks unknown to him for those years they were apart.

"You got your braces off," Peter turns from the door, hope starting to creep in.

"Now they're nothing to distract for your uni-brow," Peter can't stop the grin creeping onto his face. Despite what it seemed his friend hadn't changed all that much over the years, a thought that he suddenly found so comforting.

"There he is. You still blow-dry your hair every morning?" Peter teased back, and they've fallen back into the pattern they had gained as children. Friendly taunts and teases, with no malicious intent or cold indifference behind them.

The hug that follows feels natural and needed on both parts. It wasn't the same as rare childhood hugs (as close as they were they were not born in the 'bromance' era of friendship and thus hugging your best male friend wasn't yet common practice), giving Peter more comfort then he thought it would. It signaled that their relationship was still there.

It would have been just a friendly hug if they had separated after a few seconds, but they hadn't, holding each other close for near a minute, both afraid that if they let go the other would disappear. A part of Peter wished they never had to let go because that minute seemed to represent both their pasts and the possibility of an even closer relationship in the future – whatever that entailed.

AO3ACCEPTSLINESWHYDON' 

It was nice spending time with Peter again, it felt natural being with him. Even after all those years apart.

The conversation turned onto his adventures in Europe.

"I saw you," Peter said, and there was a moment where he honestly believed the boy had somehow managed to follow him to the other continent.

"What do you mean you saw me?"

"I saw you in some magazine with some French supermodel, do you know who I'm talking about?" To be truthful he didn't, he couldn't remember half the girls he had been with while he was away. They always felt like replacements for something, but he didn't know what, just something or maybe someone. He was sure if he ever told a psychologist that they'd probably tell him they were replacements for some mother figure absent from his life but he knew that couldn't be it. Most people didn't want to sleep with their mothers.

"Yeah," he lied, because he couldn't tell Peter the truth. For some reason he didn't want his friend to think he was some womanizer making his way through every attractive women he met while away from home.

"But dude, that whole model thing is so exhausting," and it was. Out of all the women he had been with models were always the hardest to keep up with. They always wanted to be out drinking and partying, and as much as Harry enjoyed it he sometimes wanted to have time alone.

"I know," Peter replied and there was suddenly the flair of… something – some new unknown emotion in regards to his friend that he had previously not felt.

"You got a lady?" he shouldn't really care about the reply, but somehow he does.

"That's the question," Peter replies as he climbs over the railing.

"No, I don't… yeah… I don't know, it's… I don't know, it's complicated" that feeling isn't foreign to him, being stuck in limbo with a girl not knowing if you are dating or not is hard.

"Yeah, I don't do complicated," at least not anymore, it's too hard to keep up with the media constantly following you around as it is without a love affair to add to it.

"What's her name? Who is she?" Harry will try and be the supportive friend though; partly wishing he could draw on personal experience in order to give his friend some advice. But he has a feeling his relationships with women are very different from the one Peter is having.

"Her name's Gwen, Gwen Stacy," there's that feeling again, this time more potent then the last. 

"Gwen Stacy…" he tests the name out. It's a pretty name for what he assumes is a pretty girl who has stolen his friends heart.

"She works for you."

"You're kidding, she works for me?"

"At Oscorp she does work study at Oscorp."

"Is she a model employee?" it's so easy to tease him about this, because of course the girl his best friend is in love with works for the company he has been forced to inherit.

Peter gives him a laugh and a nod in response. Harry ensures to remember the name, once he's back at his home he will look up her file, there's bound to be a picture attached. He has to see the girl Peter is so infatuated in, has to understand what attracted his friend to her.

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The river was one of the places they used to hang out as children. Peter remembers them sneaking away from their parents and responsibilities and just skipping stones across the surface, competing as to who could skip theirs further like most children do.

He hadn't visited it for years, having not had anyone to hang out there with he instead found other ways to fill his time. It was strange and nostalgic to be back, while at the same time it felt more appropriate to have only returned with Harry. He felt as if it would have been wrong to return without the other boy.

"You know when my father sent me away I tried to forget everything about this place… I guess that kind of included you," Peter understood that feeling, a few years after his parents had died he tried to forget everything about them, they had abandoned him with his aunt and uncle and then went and died. At the same point it hurt to think about Harry trying to forget their time together as children, forget about him. It hurt more then he thought it could.

"You ain't got to explain anything to me man," Peter manages after a few seconds of recovering from the hurt, because really Harry doesn't, Peter understands the reason for his decision even if it still hurts.

"We both got dumped," Peter says and they both know it's true. It doesn't make the hurt any less to know someone else is feeling the exact same way, even if that person is your best fried because the hurt is the kind of hurt you don't wish on anyone.

"You ever figure out why your parents bailed?"

Peter gives a weak headshake, he didn't want to talk about it; he wasn't sure anyone abandoned by their parents ever wanted to talk about it. But he felt he should, and not for the reasons normally given to lift the burden on his shoulders. He'd had enough years to deal with it himself, but he felt as if he owed Harry some explanation.

"My dad left me a briefcase, that's all I got, a briefcase full of junk… whatever, I don't know, I try not to think about it," but trying not to think about them didn't involve blocking out a childhood friend. Peter knew he shouldn't be bitter, but at the same point the hurt just wasn't going away.

"How's that working out for you?"

"Perfectly," and it was, he had graduated high school with good grades, had an attractive girlfriend (or at least he did until he was haunted by her father's ghost), and was all over the news as a crime-fighting superhero. Most people would consider that a pretty good life, yet the hurt of his father's betrayal was still there and so did the death of his Uncle – his life was far from perfect.

Peter skips the stone across the water, putting all of his annoyance and confusion into the throw.

"Nice arm!"

"It's just the wrist, it's all in the wrist buddy, you can do it too if you just strengthen up that -" okay, so maybe there was slight innuendo there. He couldn't be blamed though; it was too easy of a chance to take and as much as he wanted to impress his old friend with how much he'd matured he couldn't not take the chance.

"Yeah right, you have to admit, thing's have gotten crazy around here man, giant lizards, and spider guys." Peter should have known the conversation would eventually turn onto his alter ego. Everyone seemed to know about Spiderman these days, even with all the changes that would have happened over the last 8 years none of it compared to what had happened with Spiderman, that was just a whole new level of strange. Still, Peter didn't exactly what the conversation to move on to Spiderman, not everyone was a fan of the masked hero and a part of him would be crushed if Harry was one of them.

"Just one guy, just one spiderman, or women, we don't know… for sure," he tried to keep his answer safe, neutral. He didn't want to make it seem like he knew Spiderman too well, the whole point of the mask was to keep those around him safe. If everyone knew that Peter Parker and Spiderman were bros then they would attack Peter Parker's friends and family the same way as they would if the knew Peter Parker and Spiderman were the same.

"Whatever dude, he wears spandex to rescue kittens from trees, I'm so impressed." Peter had to look away as the sarcasm filled his friends voice. At least he didn't flat out hate the masked hero. But still, the fact that Harry was uninterested in Peter's alter ego burned in a way he had not felt before.

"I like to think he gives people hope," he couldn't help but defend his alter ego. He wanted Harry to understand, wanted him to accept both sides of Peter it just didn't feel right if he didn't.

"For what?"

"That eventually everything's going to be alright."

"Yeah, I just wish I had the time for eventually," Harry sounded bitter, and Peter wanted to know why. Obviously there was something else weighing on his friends mind that was part of the reason he was jaded against Spiderman (or at least Peter hoped there was something else). He wouldn't pry, but he wanted to know what it was, if it was something he could fix… if it was something he could help his friend with he wanted to know what it was.

They didn't talk much after that, sometimes one of them would pick up a pebble to throw, but even that was few and far between. Conversation just didn't feel right anymore, but neither wanted to admit it. The longer Peter sat in the silence the further away from Harry he felt without either of them moving the distance just seemed to grow by the second. As the feeling of distance grew his want to close it so there was nothing between them at all starting to grow as well.

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He knew it was a long shot; logically he knew one photo in the newspaper does not necessarily mean a person has easy and consistent contact with a masked superhero, but he was dying and he was getting desperate and if anyone would help it would be Peter.

He didn't even feel guilty for waking Peter up, it was clear he had woken up from the sleepy voice on the other end of the phone. If his mind had been clearer it probably would've noticed how much he liked hearing Peter's half-asleep voice. He would have noticed that small part of him that wanted to hear the other male's voice like that in real person. But he hadn't slept much the night before, too busy connecting dots as to how to save his life and now he needed Peter's help.

It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, to admit he was dying to Peter. He thought it would be harder. He half believed he'd never tell the other, that he would go to his grave without his friend even knowing that he was heading there.

Peter had come straight away. But Harry hadn't expected anything less from his childhood friend, so desperate to help those around them however they could.

He kept glancing over at Peter as he watched the video, knowing this was probably the first time the other boy had heard his father's voice since he was a child. He knew it probably hurt. But he had to show him, had to, it was the only way for Peter to understand exactly how to help him. He wished he hadn't inherited the disease, maybe then he and Peter could have returned to their relationship of childhood instead of the one they had now.

"They never made it to human trials, 14 years of research and nothing to show for it… except maybe this," he knows Peter is confused, he can see it clearly on his friends face. But he has to make him understand, understand what he needs in order to live.

He drops the newspaper on the table, and it's clear it doesn't automatically clear up any confusion that Peter is having, he didn't think it would. It had taken all night for him to make the connection, just showing his friend the video and newspaper wouldn't explain it all.

"Spiderman."

"What about him?"

"He was bitten by one of those things and it worked! I don't know how, and I don't know why, but… he can do everything else a spider can – including self-heal," and that's the really important part isn't it? That's what makes Spiderman so wonderful, and what Harry needs so badly, the ability to heal. He doesn't want to be bitter, but he can't help himself; the research was meant to save him, to fix his families curse and some… random person is using it to fight crime and save kittens from trees and that knowledge hurts so much.

"I need to find him, I need his blood."

"You need… Spidermans… blood?" Peter seems to have gone into shock, and Harry just wants him to understand, wants him to understand how important this is.

"It will save my life," Harry explains, because it's so simple to him now. He just needs to get Spiderman's blood and he'll be free of his families curse.

"It may not, Harry, it may not be that simple you saw what happened to Curt Connors, right?"

"Connors was weak and this is me Peter," he has to understand, he can do it. What happened to Connors won't happen to him because he's stronger; he has to be, it's the only way he will survive.

"You don't just set up a van and have him donate, I mean I'm sure he's sensitive about people shoving needles and…" the bitter part of Harry just grows stronger at that. Peter has been told the one way to save him and he's making excuses for Spiderman! Spiderman has managed to steal his best friend away from him.

"Well then maybe you could just sensitively tell me where he is and I will go ask him myself!" Because if Peter is going to defend Spiderman so loyally Harry doesn't even want him as a middleman, he wants to talked to the masked hero himself, wants to see if he really is as great as everyone makes him out to be. Or will he turn away a dying person just because it would require him to be pricked by a needle!

"What?" now Peter looks hurt, like Harry has somehow betrayed him by making the request and it just makes Harry feel angrier. He doesn't care that he is being controlling and so much like his father, Peter is his friend, and he will not let Spiderman take him away.

"You took his picture."

"So?"

"You know him," why isn't Peter getting it, why is he trying to protect the stupid superhero!

"Harry, I took a picture from a long point away, I used a long lens, I don't know him," Peter's obviously trying to calm him, speaking softly and gently as if Harry is in some unreasonable rage. But it isn't unreasonable, because Harry has figured it all out.

"I put together what you said at the river." 

"What I-?"

"About how he gives people hope," Peter just looks pathetic now, trapped in his own words with no way to escape. Harry doesn't want to make him look that way, it hurts to know he has caused Peter pain but his friend must understand. This is the only way to save him, and he needs it.

"Come on."

"Okay," Peter replies quietly, he won't even look at Harry anymore and that just makes the hurt so much worse.

"What?"

"Okay… I'll… I'll ask him," Peter replies and everything is right in the world again.

"Thank you," Harry breathes out with a sigh of relief.

"Only if I can find him," Peter adds, somehow managing to find his feet standing from the table, making his way over to Harry.

Harry nods, the tears that were building up threatening to spill. He knows not to push any further, knows if he demands anymore Peter will take back his offer and he will get nothing.

Peter reaches him and pulls him into another hug, and the first tear falls and he holds his friend as close as he can. Peter tries to be comforting, but clearly feels awkward about it, and Harry understands why, if their roles were reversed he would probably feel awkward too, but their not and at this point he feels more safe then he has ever been his whole life.

He goes to pull back from the hug but it only gives him a look at Peter's pained filled face. He's forced his friend to make a difficult decision, that much is clear but he has to make him understand how important he is to him, has to show him that his relationship to Peter is more important then anything else.

Before he knows it he's leant forward and connected their lips. Peter freezes against him, but doesn't pull back, so neither does Harry. He instead moves his lips just slightly, and Peter copies him, allowing them to kiss properly. It's not exactly a chaste kiss, nor is it some overtly romantic or sexual one, yet it somehow expresses his emotions, that Peter means so much to him and that he doesn't want to lose him.

After a few seconds Peter pulls back muttering an apology, but he doesn't let go, and he allows Harry to move in close again and burry his head into the crook of his shoulder, allows him to take comfort in his arms so he obviously wasn't too against it. He guesses it's the girlfriend that weighs on Peter's mind, he wonders if it would be different if she wasn't in the picture, if Peter wouldn't be so clearly cautious and unsure about their relationship.

"Thank you," Harry mutters in Peter's shoulder, his arms wrapped tight around his friends. He doesn't know exactly what he is thanking him for: the promise or the kiss? He isn't sure, but he knows he is grateful, and he is so glad that Peter is his friend and that he had decided to visit him after his father's death, because he wouldn't know what he would do without him.

"I'm going to try and find Spiderman," Peter says and leaves, or more accurately flees. And Harry should feel bad, he should, he just put so much pressure on his friend, so much pressure while at the same point pushing their relationship further then should have dared. But he needed Peter and he needed Peter to understand just how much he meant to him and he couldn't loose him. Couldn't; not to Spiderman, not to Gwen Stacy, he wanted Peter to understand that he was the only thing left in his life that was actually good.

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Harry had kissed him. His best friend had kissed him and what's worse: he had kissed back. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that big of a deal, Harry had been stressed and Peter was giving him comfort that was all, right? And his relationship with Gwen wasn't exactly a definitive, so he wasn't technically cheating? And anyway it was a one off thing, something he and Harry can laugh over in years to come after they sort it out. It wasn't that big of a deal, and yet he had fled the room and he couldn't shake the feeling that it was something. He needed to clear his head.

As he took the elevator down he noticed a familiar figure darting across the walkways in the building. Getting off the elevator he caught Gwen just as she was about to trip over.

"Hi," she was wide-eyed and had quickening breath, something was up.

"Hi," he breathed back. Even with all his confusion about Harry he knew he loved her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked and he suddenly didn't want to answer. He could say he was just visiting Harry but it would feel like a lie even though the kiss was nothing, really.

"What are you doing here?" he asked back and was dragged into a storage closet by her. It wasn't exactly what he expected, but he wasn't going to protest, she seemed stressed about something so he figured she there was some reason for her actions.

The security walked past the door, obviously looking for her and she gave Peter a look that answered all his questions about her current behavior.

"You're in trouble," he felt back in his natural environment, he was back in a situation he understood – mortal peril and teasing Gwen. He knew how to act here instead of his confusion about how his interactions with Harry were currently going.

"Yeah," Gwen replied with a nod as if she was proud of herself. 

"Who's that guy?"

"There was an accident in the genomics lab and they're covering it up, and I found out. That guy from times square last night," he was listening, he swore he was listening, but at the same point he couldn't help but feel so attracted to her right now, she was being smart and resourceful and these were feelings he understood. He knew what he felt for Gwen, it was a feeling that was easy and wasn't clouded over from other emotions built up over a long history.

"I met him, he was an electrical engineer here in the building, and he loved Spiderman by the way he was a fanatic," she continued bringing Peter's attention back to the situation on hand instead of the way her lips moved as she talked.

"I didn't get a love-vibe last night; I got more of a want-to-kill-with-his-electricity-vibe."

"That's actually kind of what's it's like to love you," was it really? Was loving him really like maintaining a constant homicidal rage towards him? Because if so he really should stop dating for his own safety.

"Kept searching for him on the computer and all the files, he's erased. He's completely erased," more wonderful news for the day. His male best friend who he may have developed feelings for (not that there was anything wrong with that, just until Harry had returned Peter had been pretty sure he was straight) wants him to get the blood of his alter ego and now the company said best friend owned had hidden all records of a guy who quiet possibly could have become the city's latest super villain.

"That's Oscorp."

"What about you, why are you here?"

"Harry," he couldn't lie to her, she had to know the truth.

"Osborn?"

"He's dying," it hurt to admit, admit the one person who he thought he would never loose was dying. The one person who looked out for him when he was a kid - that should have been safe from what was happening around the city - was dying of something completely unrelated.

"What do you mean?"

"He's dying, and he thinks the only thing that is going to save his life is my blood – is Spiderman's blood, and as far as I know if I give it to him it could kill him," Gwen would understand, even if he told her about the kiss she would understand it was just between two friends who were so scared of Harry dying. Because that was all it was wasn't it?

"Or turn him into something worse."

"I know," and it would kill him if it did. If he had caused Harry to become something like Connors did he would probably never be able to live with himself every again. But he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let his best friend die either, he would have to find another way to save him.

"This is the maintenance closet, Gwen, this is the most clichéd hiding place you could have chosen," it was easier to joke around with Gwen then think about everything that had been revealed to him in the floors above.

"I'm sorry I didn't take us to the Bahamas of hiding places," Gwen replied sarcastically.

"I got to talk to you about England I guess," he couldn't lose her to another continent, not right after he got Harry back. He needed her around, especially now, he needed something that reminded him of his normal life without too many complicated feelings (and isn't it just wonderful that he considered being haunted by the memory of her father as being the easiest relationship side-effect).

He kissed her and she quickly kissed back. He knew he shouldn't have, there was a growing list of reasons why he shouldn't have but he couldn't help himself, it just felt right in the situation. It was different from the kiss he had just shared with Harry, less chaste and more familiar. A small part of him worried that she would be able to taste the other on his lips but he knew that was ridiculous, there was no way that she would know what had happened in the room above unless he told her, and at this point there wasn't any reason to tell her. It had meant nothing; just the result of two stressed teenagers and it didn't change their friendship at all.

"You just kissed me?"

"I know, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. How'd you like it?" Why did he suddenly need her validation? They had kissed before, and he knew how to kiss her, but now he needed her to tell him it was okay that he hadn't ruined whatever they had with it.

"Felt a little bit rushed," she joked.

"I know," he joked back and they were back into familiar territory again, he would get her out of the building safely for now. He could deal with whatever was happening with Harry and Oscorp later.

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Harry needed to get out of the building; Oscorp was not the place he wanted to be while he was dying. Reminded him too much of his father, of his father's legacy that he was inheriting – both physical and medical.

The elevator stopped halfway down to the entrance and a woman entered. Harry would have had no idea who she was if he hadn't been looking up her file the day before. Gwen Stacy – the girl who's relationship with Peter is 'complicated'.

"Gwen Stacy?" he asked causing her to jump and turn around.

"Uh, Hi?" she was clearly on edge because of something. He wouldn't be surprised if she was on a list of people to be disposed of, it seemed to be something this company had. Something he would fix once he was healthy again and able to fix it into something he could be proud of. Something Peter would approve of.

"Harry Osborne," he introduced himself and she seemed to relax and nod.

"Peter told me about you," She replied, before noticing that she had looked so frazzled.

"Sorry, I'm sort of rushing."

"I'm sorry he never introduced us, I thought you two had broken up," he understood, he hadn't exactly been in town long and by Peter's words he and Gwen had broken up – not that that seemed to be true anymore. The bitterness was back, mixed with sadness and the knowledge that he had kissed Peter while the other was obviously still dating a girl; taking advantage of his friend through the use of his own emotional trauma.

"Oh… yeah… yes we had but it's…" she couldn't continue, obviously she didn't even know where the relationship between her and Peter stood. Obviously both of them were confused about their feelings about Peter, maybe in another time and place they could have bonded over mutual confusion-based affection for the boy.

"It's complicated."

"It's complicated, yeah."

"I mean it's Peter, everything's always complicated with Peter." It hadn't been when they were children, even when Peter's parents died their relationship was rather simple, the sort of friendship everyone wants as children. Maybe it was just how Peter changed when he got older; he somehow managed to make every situation complicated. Or maybe it was what happened when emotions other then friendship got mixed in. Once again, if the situation was different he could probably have become friends with Gwen, had long conversation where they laughed about how hard it is knowing Peter, but it seems that that would never happen – not unless a lot of things changed first.

"Yeah," Gwen laughed at first, but eventually her face became more serious, before falling, "yeah… you're right."

"But that's why he needs you… right?" he managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice with those words. It seemed Peter had replaced him in his heart with Gwen, and she seemed nice. She seemed like the perfect girl, perfect for Peter. That didn't stop the jealousy from settling in.

"To help him make his choices clear," he had to trust Peter, had to trust that Gwen wouldn't convince him against helping Harry. She didn't seem like the kind of girl that would let him die, but at the same time if she found out about his feelings for Peter he wouldn't blame her for wanting him out of the picture. Part of him was starting to want to remove her as horrible as that was.

"Nice to meet you Harry," she didn't sound happy, but maybe it was something to do with whatever she was running from upstairs and not some decision or knowledge she held in regards to him.

"Yeah, it's, ah, such a pleasure Gwen," he realized he didn't want to leave the building yet, didn't want to go to his basically empty house (the staff didn't really count as they only talked to him in order to do their jobs), wouldn't be able to stand the suffocating loneliness. Peter and Gwen were likely going to get back together, he could tell, and he was going to loose Peter to her. There was nothing he could do to stop it; he just hoped his friend would pull through for him one last time before he left.

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Peter knew he would eventually have to face Harry. He couldn't promise his friend that he would go look for Spiderman and then not do anything about it. He wondered if he was being a coward for wearing the mask the next time he talked to his friend after they kissed. Shouldn't he have least called and told him he'd found Spiderman? For some reason that just seemed like a bad decision.

"Mr Osborn?" it was weird referring to Harry by that name, but he knew his friend already wasn't the biggest fan of Spiderman and he didn't want to give him any reason to dislike the masked hero.

Harry looked a wreck, and Peter just felt more guilty, like he had somehow caused all his friends pain. He knew the fact that Harry was dying probably played a big part and that wasn't something he controlled, but he was sure whatever Harry's problem with Spiderman was probably played at least some part of it (he tried not to think about the kiss, and how it could be an indication of something more in his friends heart because that just hurt too much).

"Look up, I hear you're looking for me," apparently Spiderman's hope effect isn't completely lost on Harry, whose face lights up brightly upon seeing the masked hero. Peter knows it's because Harry believes Spiderman will give him his blood and his cure, he just hopes he can stop Harry from completely hating Spiderman before the conversation is over.

"I cannot believe my eyes," Peter lowers himself into one of the spare chairs. He thought it was weird being in a place like this when he was a child; it's even weirder now. But he isn't sure if it's because of his fractured relationship with Harry or the fact he's in costume.

"Spiderman," Harry laughs, like he is amazed to see the masked hero in front of him. Peter realizes that Harry didn't believe he would pull through for him. He would never have thought his friend wouldn't believe he'd help him and it hurts to think of where their relationship must have become for that belief to have come to Harry.

"Just the man I wanted to see, you um, talked to Peter?" he can tell just how unsteady Harry is by the way he pours the drink, he wonders if it's the disease or all the alcohol his friend had obviously drunken before passing out on the couch.

"Yup," and now for the hard part, where he has to tell Harry no even though it kills him as well knowing he is sentencing his friend to certain death – he just can't risk what would happen if it didn't work.

"I want to help you Mr Osborn, I really, really do. I can't give you my blood, not right now."

"Excuse me," Peter wishes he could comfort Harry, wishes he could explain everything too him, but he has to keep his identity a secret. He wishes he understood what made him so special that he didn't turn into a monster or die. He wants to know so he can somehow make it so it works on Harry too. Because he doesn't want to see his friend die, but it's just too risky to let him have what he wants.

"It's too dangerous, if our blood isn't compatible you could die."

"I'm already dying, you're blood can't make me die more." If only it was that simple, if his blood would either kill or save Harry he would give it too him in a heartbeat. Even if it did kill him then at least his friend would die as himself, die knowing that Peter would do anything for him. But there was the other option to take into consideration and that was not a fate Peter wanted for his best friend.

"But it could do something worse," Harry doesn't look happy with the answer and it takes every bit of Peter's will not to turn away from his friend, to keep meeting his eyes like a superhero should, not cower away from the pain he's inflicting like he wants to.

"Okay, alright how much?" Harry couldn't mean what Peter thought he did? Did his friend really think Spiderman would demand money for his blood?

"How much what?" Peter asked without even thinking, because there had to be another meaning behind the question, there was no way Harry thought so little of Spiderman.

"How much do you want? I mean, do you want a boat? You want a plane? You want money? How much do you want?"

"I don't want your money," even though he knows how much that money would help Aunt May out he didn't want it, he never wanted it. When they were kids he didn't even want Harry's money, Harry's life, because he knew it came with a cost and that cost had taken his friend away from him all those years ago. He wasn't going to let money take Harry away from him again.

"Everybody wants my money!" Is that what Harry's thoughts on people been turned into during the years he was abroad, the belief that they don't care about him for anything but the money. Peter wishes he could have stayed in contact with his friend, wishes he could have proven to him that he wanted to know him because of him and not just his bank account, but there was little he could do now.

"I don't."

"I though you were suppose to save people, I thought that's what you do is you save people's lives," Harry sounds bitter, and angry, and Peter just wants to leave. He can't stand seeing his friend so broken like this, he wants to help him so badly, wants to fix everything and he can't and seeing Harry's anger about it just makes that hurt so much more.

"You just… you just going to let me die?"

"I'm trying to protect you right now," Peter wants Harry to understand, but he has a feeling his friend has already given in to the anger and no matter what he says he will just make it worse.

"No, you're trying to protect yourself."

"Look, we just need a bit more time to-"

"I do not have time!" It's easy for Peter to dodge the glass being thrown at him, even without the enhanced reflexes it would have been easy to dodge. Harry's aim wasn't that good, nor was his speed; both inhibited by illness and alcohol.

Even if Peter was able to dodge the flying shards, Harry wasn't earning him a cut on his cheek. Peter wants to help him, want's to clean him up and have him thinking rationally again, actually come up with a plan of how to fix the problem without the threat of homicidal-mutation but right now he can't. And he can't be in the room anymore, not with Harry clearly breaking down in front of him and Peter so unable to do anything to fix him.

"I'm sorry," is all he can say before leaving.

He doesn't go far though, he has to make sure Harry won't do anything too stupid but he doesn't want his friend to see him still lurking, so he perches himself to the side of the window where his friend won't be able to see him.

"You're a fraud Spiderman!" he hears the table crash and his friends heavy footsteps storming around the room, and he knows their relationship is forever broken now.

On one hand at least it means the complication is over, he knows where he will stand with Harry now – an ex-friend who betrayed him for some masked hero. But on the other the feelings aren't gone, both the ones he does and doesn't understand. Only now there will be no resolution to them, Harry will probably never want to speak to him again, will want to go back to trying to forget he existed.

Peter wished he could have given his friend the answer he wanted, wished none of this had happened. He wanted their relationship to go back to when they were children: no complicated feelings or deadly illnesses involved.

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No one was going to save him except himself. Harry knew this now. The board of directors was happy to use him as a scapegoat, and Spiderman wasn't going to give him his blood. His only option had been to release the man Oscorp was so desperate to pretend never existed. He was going to get to that spider venom, to his cue even if he had to destroy everything in his path to do it.

Getting up to what had been his office wasn't that hard, for all of Oscorps security having a guy who literally controls electricity sure makes it easy to break through it all.

He doesn't even feel bad as he kills the head of security; the guy had been keeping tabs on Peter and – JESUS THIS WASN'T ABOUT PETER. He wasn't going to think about Peter anymore, his friend had been no help to him during his time of need. Hadn't even contacted him to see how his visit from Spiderman went. After everything Harry had done for him over his years Peter was too busy with his girlfriend to really be there for his friend; so now Harry had to do it all himself.

Gloating felt justified, after everything the man had done to him since his father had died he deserved a chance to rub it in his face how quickly and easily the tables turned against him.

He didn't even feel guilty releasing Max – Electro – whatever he wanted to be called, into the city. He didn't really care what happened to everyone else now, didn't care what happened to Spiderman. He needed to get to his cure, leading the head of the board downstairs at gun point wasn't even that hard. He really needed to upgrade security after everything was over.

The vaults would have been an interesting place to explore if he hadn't have been focused on a single goal. So many of Oscorp's deepest, darkest secrets just waiting to be uncovered by the press or fall into the wrong hands locked down here. And as he had just proven it wasn't exactly hard to break into. Still the spider venom was the most important thing; his want to destroy his father's company can come later.

The injection of the venom stung a little, but he had expected that. It seemed to work though - at first at least. His hands had stopped shaking and he was sure the mark on his neck was clearing up.

Then the searing pain started.

It burned through his bloodstream and he couldn't even stand anymore from it, tearing his shirt off in agony. He didn't even notice that he was alone in the vaults now, or that the security system had been activated. It burned, and he needed a way to stop it, to stop the pain.

He managed to claw himself across the floor into one of the chambers and towards the inventions stored there. The pain was unbearable, and he was sure he felt his bones and muscles shift and _change _from the effects of the venom. Whatever it did his whole body was burning now, not just his blood and he needed some relief from it all.

He manages to claw himself towards a suit. He isn't even sure why Oscorp would want to design such a thing, or really half the things down here but he isn't going to question it at this moment because the pain starts going away. A glance at the screen on his arm reveals a healing protocol, which explains why. He feels different from before, like he's changed - more powerful now. He won't need Electro anymore; he can kill the Spider himself.

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Peter knows he should talk to Harry; tell him that while his blood won't cure him exactly, it holds the answers to finding a cure for him. But first he needs to convince Gwen against going to England, because Harry should still be there in an hour's time (hopefully; Norman survived for a while with the illness didn't he? Even if Harry seemed to be deteriorating at a faster rate) and Gwen won't.

And anyway, it's probably best to give Harry some time to cool down after his confrontation with Spiderman. Or at least that's what Peter tells himself, and pretends it's not because he is still too much of a coward to talk to his friend in person after the kiss. Even if it was nothing; really! It was nothing and those feelings that say otherwise are just the result of his worrying about his friend's health.

And just his luck Max had somehow broken out and was destroying the city. He would have to save his conversations with Harry for after he saved the day. It should be all right though, he can save the day tonight, sleep off the injuries and talk to Harry tomorrow. According to the news all the animals involved in the testing had been destroyed and that would include the spiders, Harry shouldn't be able to get access to anything that could potentially turn him into something like Connors. Hopefully.

It should be okay, tomorrow he can tell Harry the good news, possibly even tell him about the whole being Spiderman thing (how else was he going to explain that it was his father's blood that made the cure work without revealing that he was Spiderman? Pretend he had a long lost brother?). For now, he just had to save the city.

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It was surprisingly easy to control the suit; Harry still idly wondered what its original intention as for. Likely military from the fact it had weapons already equipped in it.

Flying through the city he knew where his target would be: the power grid that he had sent Max off to destroy. Spiderman was sure to be there, the superhero couldn't leave his city in danger like that. He was too good to do that.

He couldn't help but laugh at the destruction that had graced the power-main, so wonderful to see his father's companies' work destroyed like that. Electro seemed to be nowhere to be seen and the Spiderman was gloating – it was clear who was the victor of that fight. Harry would make sure Spiderman paid though, Max would get his dues even if he wasn't alive to see them.

He sank down to get a clear look at Spiderman, he wanted the hero to see what had come of him – to see what he had forced him to do. There was another person there with Spiderman and it only took him a second to recognize her.

Gwen Stacy.

Suddenly it all made sense: why Peter had been so positive about the masked hero (he had to talk himself up); why Spiderman didn't want his money (Peter could have asked for it if he wanted it); why Peter seemed so heartbroken at the idea of having to get Spiderman's blood (it would be his blood after all). Hell, it even explained why Gwen had been so cautious around him in the elevator – Peter must have told her that he was dying, probably even told her that he had kissed him - that must have impressed the blonde.

He had already lost Peter to Spiderman before he had even returned to town, he had lost his best friend to some secret identity so Peter could live out his hero fantasies and it made him sick.

What's worse his friend didn't even see fit to tell him; his childhood friend who he had trusted with all his secrets! But he told his girlfriend – the small part of Harry's brain that was still rational argued that maybe if he hadn't of been so against Spiderman Peter might of told him, and it was free for his friend to make the decision himself and he didn't own Peter – but that part was easily blocked out by the pain, the betrayal, and the jealously that somehow burned stronger then all other emotions.

He was jealous that the venom had worked for Peter; jealous his friend got to have a normal life with a normal girlfriend; jealous because no matter what he did Peter didn't understand that he loved him! Loved him so much, Peter had been the only person left on the planet that had actually cared about him, and he would have kept his secret, would have helped him but instead he had been tossed aside for some blonde women! And it made him so angry.

"Peter, when you said Spiderman said no, you meant you said no." There was nothing to keep the bitterness from his tone anymore. If his best friend was allowed to keep so much secret from him it was allowed, no, justified for him to be angry.

"Harry, what did you do?" Peter sounds scared, so afraid of what Harry had become, but it was too late for him to feel sorry for his actions; this was all his fault. Everything was his fault. From Harry's current form to the confusion he felt about his feelings for Peter, the jealous, the betrayal. It was all Peter's fault!

"What you made me do. You betrayed me!"

"No, I was trying to protect you," lies, Peter didn't want to protect him; if he had wanted to protect him he would have told him the truth, the whole truth. Not the one that best helped Peter, the truth that Harry deserved!

"Look at me," look at what you forced him to become. Look at what your betrayal caused, what your so-called protection did.

"Harry, it's going to be okay, it's going to be alright." No it's not, nothing is every going to be all right again. How could Peter think anything could be all right when looking at Harry the way he looked now? No, there was no way things could be fixed.

"You think you give people hope? You take it away." He was going to show Peter the truth, make him understand just how false his delusions were.

"No, Harry, I-" he doesn't want to hear Peter's excuses, doesn't want to hear anymore lies from his friend because it already hurts so much to know how many he has already been told. Hurts so much to know that Gwen Stacy was more important to Peter then he was.

"I'm going to take away yours." It was so clear, he would make Peter feel the way he felt, make him understand the heartbreak of losing the person you loved the most to some masked stranger (because that was what he was to Peter now wasn't he? If he weren't then Peter would have actually tried to help).

"No Gwen run!" Once again Peter picks Gwen over him, once again Peter decides that his new life is more important then any relationship he had with Harry. And that just makes the anger inside Harry grow.

It's too late now though Peter, you're words won't save you now, won't protect you from his wrath. Harry had made up his mind, he was going to make Peter understand all the hurt he felt. He was going to fill the young hero's heart with grief and pain.

Harry was going to kill Gwen Stacy.


End file.
